Comparison: The Creativity Killer

Looking at comparison in your relationships and life. Specifically how it affects you as a creative being.

Comparison is a killer. So why can it be so appealing sometimes? All too often I find myself comparing my life to the lives of others. I may be thinking it or vocalizing it, but either way, IT IS DETRIMENTAL. Not only to my mental, physical and spiritual health but to my relationships as well.

Comparison in Relationships

This was especially evident to me in my relationship with my husband. Throughout our history together I would find myself comparing him to other men in my life or past. Not only did this give me a false perspective of him and cause me to treat him unfairly; but it made him feel poorly any time a comparison was mentioned. I didn’t realize how much I was doing it because it was an automatic reaction. I was so trained to compare that it was subconscious. But where did I learn this?

Going home I realized where my roots of comparison came from. Listening to my parents speak I quickly picked up on the tone shift each time a comparing statement was declared. Honestly, I don’t think they even realized they were doing it but it had become a common part of their lives.

The Source

You must look at the source of comparison in your life in order to avoid falling prey to it. Was it taught to you by your parents? Was it learned through friends and acquaintances? Or was it simply the nature of your environment. I believe in my life it was the language of my parents. I was taught by example to compare everything. Which don’t get me wrong, is not always a bad thing. It is good to have a standard set for yourself to measure your life against in order to find success. However, it’s when it becomes your main mean for communication that you find a problem.

Know Your Language

Comparison had become my main mean for communication internally.

Comparison had become my main mean for communication internally. I know I can’t be the only one either. No matter who you are, or where you come from it’s so easy to be your own biggest critic. I could have a million people telling me I'm great at something but if internally I'm measuring myself against Susie Q down the street, then I'll never be able to believe all those people. One must retrain the mind which isn’t easy and will certainly take time. But trust me you’ll be so much better off.

The Creativity Killer

Comparison kills creativity. Plain and simple. It is a breeding ground for pride and judgment.

Comparison kills creativity. Plain and simple. It is a breeding ground for pride and judgment. It’s not somewhere you want to find yourself, yet so many of us have built our home there. Comparison chokes the joy out of life if you let it consume you. As an artist, it has greatly and negatively impacted my creativity. Whether it be music, painting or writing, I have allowed that lying voice to tell me I’m not good enough. Did you notice that keyword though? Allowed. It is completely up to me whether or not I decide to listen to that voice. Even further, it is completely up to me whether or not I decide to ACT in accordance with that voice. The more you decide not to listen to that voice, the quieter it will get over time.

Growing up I had a friend who was a superb artist, she still is actually. It was in an art class we had in high school together that I first discovered I could even do art. Like at all. I had figured I was destined to draw stick figures with balloon hands for the rest of my life until this art class changed everything for me. It was always very easy for me to compare my work to that of my friend’s because it just seemed to come so naturally for her. She could create things out of thin air while I needed a reference photo and a lot of practice. Now did that make my art bad or less valuable than hers? No. Is she a better artist than I? Maybe. There will always be someone “better” out there at everything. However, I didn’t have to devalue myself and my abilities just because I was different than her. See, that’s the key that I think a lot of us miss…different. One thing is not better or worse than another, it’s just different. Plain and simple. And you know what? That’s totally okay! You were designed to be uniquely yourself. By comparing my art to my friends I was not only devaluing myself/my work but her/her work as well. Think of comparison as a chain that is holding you back from reaching your potential. Likewise, it's holding that other person back as well (the person you're comparing yourself to) and by breaking the habit of comparison you are not only freeing yourself but potentially hundreds of people to be the best they can possibly be. Consider that next time you feel like measuring yourself against someone else and you may just change your mind. So who wants to be free from comparison?? I know I do, so I've listed some practical ways to work towards overcoming it below.

What are some practical ways to overcoming comparison?

1. Leave sticky notes of encouragement wherever it is that you like to create.

2. CHOOSE not to listen to that lying voice that tells you, you must measure yourself against others.

3. Be intentional with your speech, not just with others but with yourself. Work towards silencing that inner critic.

4. Take a break from social media and spend that time doing something you love that's creative. Tell yourself several positive affirmations about your work that you've done in that time.

5. Get together with a friend or someone that leaves you feeling uplifted, inspired and encouraged and try creating together.

These are just a few suggestions that I have/or am currently implementing in my own life. As I have said before, this (like everything) is a process and I am still in it. However, I thought sharing my ideas/progress along the way would help me stay encouraged and on the right track. I'd love to hear any suggestions or thoughts in the comments or feel free to send me an email as well! I hope you're having a wonderful week and I'm so happy you've decided to share your time with me!

Until next time,

Hanna Norton